well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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