your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
