I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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