one two three fourrrrnication!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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