If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
3pm strippers are depressing
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
