Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
