you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
