new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I came so hard my ears popped.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
