why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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