i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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