Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
