I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
