oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
