I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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