Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
