i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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