im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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