I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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