I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
