So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
