He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
