She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
