hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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