Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have fence marks all over my body
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
