My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Jerry, you need to find god
handjob tips. give me some.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
