Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
