my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
