i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
