Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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