Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
