Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
