My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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