That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Two words: nipple clamps
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