You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
