found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
