we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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