Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm at about main and main street
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
