I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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