eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
