I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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