Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
