He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
