Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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