belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
