I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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