She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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