i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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