nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
