Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Randomize
