I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
